Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Has your wife made you a cuckold?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have a reading level above third grade

Why do some people enjoy being dominated?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

‘Game changing’ air conditioner recalled due to mold growth — here’s what to do if you own one of these units - New York Post

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can count

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

SpaceX launches Falcon 9 from Vandenberg SFB Saturday afternoon - KSBY News

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

'Mission: Impossible 8': Inside How They Shot Underwater Submarine - IndieWire

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Which race of women are the hottest?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I’m a man. Why do I always fantasize about men’s cock? I don’t want a relationship with the man, I just want to suck his cock.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Is it true that LGB should drop T?

I see through liars

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Trivago watched its revenue forecast plummet from $1 billion to nearly zero—so the company tapped a set of former interns to turn it around - Fortune

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What is your age now, and what age do you prefer to stay at forever?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why is it that women are stronger than men nowadays?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can read

Trump asks Congress to pull $9.4 billion in funding for NPR, PBS and foreign aid - Axios

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Is homosexuality an excommunicable offense in Christianity?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

ESA’s Bug-Eyed Robot Telescope Just Spotted Its First Asteroid — And It Could Save the Planet - The Daily Galaxy

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I actually pay taxes

Seahawks defenders want to "put the team on our back" - NBC Sports

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?